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PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 10:05 pm 
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Here's where you can comment on Payday.

I've already posted the first two chapters on the story thread. I'll probably post the remaining chapters by Tuesday.

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Last edited by Briwd on Mon Jun 23, 2014 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 10:39 pm 
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You know what.

Heck with it...I'm posting it all right now :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 1:26 pm 
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I liked that I kept going, and yes good old Tony back to square one he had to though didn't he or he wouldn't have been Tony.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:11 pm 
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What a fun story! Tim's joke on Tony was hilarious. :) As soon as Tony won the lottery, I was just waiting for Senior to show up. lol. I also liked Tony & Ziva's background relationship... it was subtle in the story, but I'm glad it was there. Because sometimes I do feel like they treat it like she died, too!

I've always thought that if I won the lottery, I wouldn't want to win a huge one. Just a small amount that no one would care about, but would be enough to pay for my house and put away for my kids' college tuitions.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:31 pm 
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Thank you, Kelly!

I'd want enough to live on for the rest of my life - or at least enough to pay off my debts and a few loved ones, and set up a good retirement and medical fund. I wouldn't want to be in a position where people are constantly expecting me to give them thousands of dollars each year.

I'm going to write a deleted scene between Tony and Ziva. I respect Tiva enough that I couldn't ignore it.

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Last edited by Briwd on Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:31 pm 
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This was a unique and lighthearted story. It's funny because I've read true accounts of people's lives being ruined by winning the lottery. Poor sweet Tony. :hug2col: He only wants what he already has. The grass seemed greener when he bought the ticket. And Senior! Very predictable!

(I love that the first person Tony called was Gibbs.)

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:38 pm 
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Thanks, Chelsea! I saw it as Tony playing on a lark - he had no expectations of winning anything.

And I thought Gibbs would naturally be the first person Tony would call.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:08 am 
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Epilogue added. I originally left Ziva out because Barbara preferred her story be set in the present and Ziva is gone. Then my inner Tiva shipper reminded me that some of the Tivaites might blow a gasket if I don't have her appear...and I do think they would discuss things at least once. Hence, an epilogue that has been posted, completes the story.

I hope Barbara and others enjoy it.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:51 am 
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:clap: Lovely addition!

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:06 pm 
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Thanks, Kelly!

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:36 pm 
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That was a lovely ending very well done.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:19 pm 
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Thanks, Pat.

I figured Ziva had to be in the story somehow - and if I didn't, her fans would let me know it. ;D

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:20 pm 
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Briwd wrote:
Thanks, Pat.

I figured Ziva had to be in the story somehow - and if I didn't, her fans would let me know it. ;D

well you did good

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:09 pm 
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:flirtysmile: :flirtysmile: :flirtysmile: :flirtysmile: :flirtysmile: :flirtysmile: :flirtysmile: :flirtysmile: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :jumpgreen: :jumpgreen: :jumpgreen: :jumpgreen: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:

That was so good!!

I have to say that my absolute favorite part was that you brought in Martha and Alexis for a cameo!!! It makes perfect sense that McGee/Gemcity might have met Castle at some point. Such a funny idea for a prank!

Love that Hetty is his financial adviser, and so nice to see Kensi and Deeks. I love Deeks. :thud:

Anyhow, you wrote Tony very well. I'm glad you included the bit with the long distance relationship with Ziva and the epilogue. I do like Tiva when it's well-written, and this certainly qualifies. :yes:

All in all, a truly fantastic story! Thanks soooooo much!! :hug2col: :hug2col: :hug2col: :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:21 pm 
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Thank you, Barbara. I am happy you loved the story, and your kind words made my day.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:38 pm 
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You did a really nice job working in all the prompts. :yes:

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 5:11 am 
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Loved Hetty as the F/advisor nice touch of Kensi and Deeks and it was a great story well done

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:52 pm 
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Thanks, Miz!

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 12:56 pm 
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Lots of great cameos in this fic! Loved the concept and seeing how Tony handles his new fortune :yes:

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:07 pm 
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Thing is Tony would do that really he isn't a money guy really

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:11 pm 
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Thanks, Colleen!

Pat, my thoughts exactly...to me, Tony wouldn't walk away from what's most valuable to him over millions of dollars...

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 9:31 pm 
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That was a wild ride. I appreciate how you think carefully about what a lottery win can do to a person. I love all of the different characters from NCIS:LA showing up, especially Hetty. Very cool. I especially like that DiNozzo gets rid of all the money instead of holding onto it. I thought Senior might be a bad guy, but I am glad that he came off pretty well. I think he really does love Tony. Excellent job, Brian! :clap: :clap: :clap:

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 9:39 pm 
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Thank you, Sheila! I like Senior as a character - I don't think he's a bad guy at heart, just a decent guy who's perhaps made some poor choices.

Tony did hold on to a little bit, enough to fully fund his retirement and savings. I thought about it from my perspective - what would it do to me? I concluded it would completely change my life, and not for the better...yes I would have more money than I dreamed of. But I would lose family and friends, who would never see me the same way again.

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