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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 9:32 am 
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Since the story's 22 chapters, here's a separate discussion thread for it. Posting will continue throughout the week.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 2:50 pm 
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Good! Loving the story, and the twist toward the end...lots of possibilities!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 3:49 pm 
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Thanks, Deb! Yes, many, many possibilities on this one, which the team will learn during the next few chapters... :evillaugh: :evillaugh:

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:15 pm 
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Oh Jennie, I'm really enjoying it so far! You are a wonderful storyteller, and this one already seems like it's gonna be a ride. I love the realistic details you've included, and I'm always up for political / controversial topics. Tony's one percent comment made me chuckle, so sarcastic. ;D The wait for more chapters will kill me.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:23 pm 
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Thanks, Chelsea! I'm glad you're liking it so far! (I knew you would be up for the political stuff based on the prompt and our discussions before I started - that comment was for everybody else reading it, especially since I can't reveal the prompt until later. ;) ) I'm polishing chapters today and tomorrow, so I might be able to get another chapter or two up tonight.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 6:35 pm 
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Chapters 3 and 4 are posted. More to come tomorrow.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:09 pm 
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Really great and intriguing so far! You definitely capture the characters well, and I feel like this could be a real episode! I'm interested to see what's up with Gibbs, and where this story will lead!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 9:17 pm 
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Thanks, Colleen! This is my first time writing Bishop, so I especially appreciate your characterization comment. I'm glad you're enjoying the case so far.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 11:16 pm 
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Looking forward to the rest of your story, Jennie. This is a storyline you could easily see on the show itself - and I think of that as a compliment. And, so far, you've written it very, very well.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:23 am 
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Thanks, Brian! That's always my goal. Although this would probably be a two-parter — lots of twists and turns still to come.

Chapters 5 & 6 are now posted.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 5:59 pm 
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Blah, I started this and rapidly realised that I am tooooo tired and it's too late here for me to do it justice reading, but I had to tell you that I was :lol2: at the idea of Tony telling Gibbs he needed to wear a bell. I think it's a funny notion anyway, but Tony just randomly coming out with that OUT LOUD without thinking, I'm just imagining the expression on their faces and :lol2: love it!

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:04 pm 
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Thanks, Sarah! I think I might have stolen the idea from Deeks re: Hetty in an old LA episode, but it worked, so I kept it. It's going to be posting all week, so no rush. The case is quickly going to get complicated enough that even I couldn't follow it if I was half-asleep and I wrote the darn thing. ;)

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:12 pm 
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Chapter 7 is posted. I was going to post Chapter 8, too, then I decided to wait. :evillaugh:

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:02 pm 
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Quote:
"As long as McGee has internet, he can work there just as well as here, Boss," Tony said. "You need to go to look his grandparents in the eye and know if they're telling the truth or not. But you'll be back tomorrow, and Jack will be glad to see McGee."

"Rather see you," Gibbs said.

"I'll see him next time," Tony said, his expression softening a bit. "You two go, before SecNav or the Congressman come looking for you. I'll deal with them."

This little exchange was so cute.

Quote:
and he knew Tony couldn't be impartial, even if Tony hadn't realized that yet. McGee wasn't even going to think about that complication.

Oooooh.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:04 am 
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Thanks, Chelsea. Except, of course, Jack never gets down to see the team — or them up to see him — after that before the season finale. :( Sometimes we forget that we don't have all the time in the world...

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:42 am 
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Chapter 8 is posted. :evillaugh: :evillaugh:

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:33 pm 
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This is an awesome story, loving the characterizations and the twists and turns - and I'm sure there will be more!

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 3:25 pm 
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Thanks, Deb! Glad you're enjoying it. Yes, definitely more twists in store. And more chapters to come after I get home from work tonight.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:20 pm 
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Chapters 9 and 10 are posted. Almost to the halfway point...

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:39 pm 
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You kept scaring me with Ch 10.

I'm liking the way Tony is thinking. The difference between right and wrong isn't always black and white.


Quote:
As Vance led the way to the car, followed by Abby and two nuns, he had a brief moment where he wished Jackie was still around — she would have loved to hear this story. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, and wondered if he'd ever get to a point where thinking of her didn't blindside him — and then decided he wasn't sure he ever did want to get to that point.

Beautiful


Trouble in paradise, McGee?

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:17 am 
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Who, me? :evillaugh: :evillaugh: :evillaugh:

Yes, lots of shades of gray in this one, and the picture's only going to get murkier. More to come today at some point.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:27 am 
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I'm definitely going to have to re-read a few chapters in order to catch more details. ;D

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 6:03 pm 
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Yeah, this was a complicated one. The timing on it (selected for other reasons) fit really well with political events that worked with the storyline, so there's a lot of real-world complexity in this.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:14 pm 
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Totally.

And I also thought it was odd that I came up with that prompt before NCIS rolled out its own homeless veterans episode. I had no idea. And by far, this is better than that episode!

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:48 pm 
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Awww! Thanks, Chelsea! When I saw the info about that ep after the swap I was worried they were going to do something that would interfere with what I wanted to do here, but it worked out OK.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:35 pm 
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Just posted chapters 11-13. Ducky fans should enjoy this segment.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:35 pm 
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Chapters 14-15 are posted. Hang on - these two are a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 9:43 pm 
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I started reading and forgot to comment.. :gibbssmack: I love the plot of this story! So action packed!

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 10:22 pm 
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Finally caught up! Seriously, I wish this were an episode. It's well-written, intense, but still has bits of humor sprinkled in there ;D I don't know what to expect going forward!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:13 am 
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Thanks, Andrea and Colleen! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Yes, this is much more a casefile/episode than I normally write, but it was what the prompt demanded (and it was a lot of fun to puzzle out). More twists and turns still to come. :evillaugh: :evillaugh: :evillaugh:

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:25 am 
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Chapters 16 and 17 are posted.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 8:53 am 
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Chapters 18 and 19 are up, with TWO Tony and McGee interrogation scenes. (Sometimes Gibbs is scarier when he's not in the room ;) ) Rest coming this morning as soon as I finish edits, so if you've been waiting to read until it's all done, you can probably start now and the last three chapters will be up by the time you get there. :evillaugh: :evillaugh:

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 9:37 am 
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The rest of the story is posted. Please let me know what you think - this was not at all a traditional story and I'd love to hear what you thought - good, bad and ugly.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:30 pm 
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THANK YOU Jennie for writing such an amazing, detailed, realistic story. I swear, this could be turned into an NCIS tie-in novel. They should think about doing those. :rofl: I know you put A LOT of work into this -- even while moving and starting a new job, and I think that's amazing. I feel quite unworthy of such a great story. ;D

I'm working my way through. This is one of those stories that you really need to read while fully conscious. This has been one of the worst weeks ever at work (figures that would coincide with WEE week, right?) so jumping on here to read is really a fun bit of relief for me.

Thanks again, Jennie! I'm very pleased that one of my prompts inspired you so much. :kisscheek:

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 2:25 pm 
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:confetti: :confetti: :confetti: :confetti:

I'm really, really glad you liked it, Chelsea. It was a blast to write, even with all the real-life insanity — THANK YOU for such an amazing prompt. You set up a Caf-Pow IV for my plot bunnies with this one.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:07 pm 
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Such a detailed and intricate plot! I love that the whole team is included (even Jimmy!) and it was a great plot with so many twists and turns. I liked the political color as well. Lots of research went into this, I can tell!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:14 pm 
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Thanks, Colleen! Coming from somebody who always writes outstandingly twisty casefics, that means a lot. The prompt dovetailed nicely with reality and the news of the day, which I think added a realism I couldn't otherwise have pulled off. (Although except for that one report Ellie references, most of the info was picked up through the course of being a newspaper editor and political junkie and then repurposed for this. ;) ) Glad you liked the political color. It was inevitable given the prompt, but I wasn't sure how well it would go over with anybody besides Chelsea (who was the really important reader anyway, since it's her wonderful prompt). Glad to hear it wasn't just the two of us who liked it.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:38 am 
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I've read through chapter 6, and this is very, very well written! From what I've read so far, it's well-researched and detailed. And, you brought back a character from the old days - Faith Coleman - and made her a key player in the storyline. I really like that because it proves that there are great stories which can spring from anywhere along the show's timeline, and from all of the characters.

You mentioned being a newspaper editor - if you're still in the business, I hope it's treating you well.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:42 am 
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Thanks, Brian! I like bringing back recurring characters — they've given us so many great ones, why invent OCs? :) You'll see another familiar face pop up a bit later, an early-season character I've used several times in the Breathe stories.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 11:57 am 
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I finally finished! :yesyes: LOL. You're right, I did love that Gibbs & Vance scene at the end. :flirtysmile: Very nice. Such a great story. You have the ability to draw me into your casefiles, and I love how much of a TEAM aspect your stories often have, where everyone gets equal billing (though this was really a Gibbs story for a lot of it, which is okay, since he's the boss - and I really liked that whole getting older, knee bothering him subplot, too, because it was realistic and something that makes him more human and not so Superman). And I also loved bringing in Faith, Jackson and Stan, because I'm partial to minor characters, as well (shocking news, I know ;D). So yes, many kudos to you for writing another awesome story. :confetti:

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 12:22 pm 
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Aww.... Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story. I knew you'd love that scene. :) I have to snicker, because I kind of felt like this was a Tony story, Gibbs' knee notwithstanding. Jack and Stan were planned — Faith just kind of showed up an demanded a role, which I hadn't expected. (Chuck Winslow also was planned.)

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 12:52 pm 
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I wonder how Chelsea read it. ;D Tony did have a pretty big part and he was basically "in charge" for a lot of it, though, so I see what you mean.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 2:42 pm 
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I finally finished this story. One of the very best I've ever read in fanfic. Extremely well done.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 3:35 pm 
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Oops. Just saw this. Thanks, Brian!! That just made my day.

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