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 Post subject: Discussion - The Carver
PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2015 10:39 pm 
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Any discussions/comments for The Carver can be posted here. Thanks!!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 6:16 am 
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My C&P is suddenly refusing to work, but Tony making his displeasure at being woken as obvious as he could made me :evillaugh: ;D

"Wilkers is a cheating cheater who cheats"

:rofl:

Great start, Kelly :shocked: I need a 'hiding behind the sofa' smilie... love the McNozzo banter mixed with a hearty dose of shuddering down the spine.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 12:48 pm 
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flootzavut wrote:
Great start, Kelly :shocked: I need a 'hiding behind the sofa' smilie... love the McNozzo banter mixed with a hearty dose of shuddering down the spine.

Thank you Sarah! Ultimately I think this turned out more suspeneful than a horror, but I love to hear that it's working. :dance:

And Tony doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd love being woken up in the morning. Kind of like me. :whistle:

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 12:50 pm 
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Well I'm kind of a wimp so I'm probably not the best judge ;D

And I totally agree about Tony :evillaugh:

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2015 8:25 am 
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Yikes! I'm getting really worried about what he's doing with the men — and what might be in store for Tim. I don't blame Tony for being skeptical earlier, but man am I glad he was on the phone with McGee at the end and hopefully heard that go down.

More, soon? Please!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:46 pm 
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colorguard28 wrote:
Yikes! I'm getting really worried about what he's doing with the men — and what might be in store for Tim. I don't blame Tony for being skeptical earlier, but man am I glad he was on the phone with McGee at the end and hopefully heard that go down.

More, soon? Please!

Thanks Jennie! :) There is one chapter left. I have a few tweaks I want to make before posting, but it should be done today or tomorrow. I'm on vacation, which is limiting my internet time. :)

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2015 8:08 pm 
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Chapter two is up. There will be one more after this. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:29 am 
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Tony choosing to believe Gibbs because there's no other acceptable alternative is perfect. Also, not even gonna try to imagine a room that makes Tony almost hurl :shocked:

Wow, that's an evil author place to finish the chapter! But I trust that you will put us out of our misery soon enough...

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:38 pm 
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Well, I think you very much succeeded in creating a horror story :shocked: My heart was beating along with Tim's all the way until he was rescued. I'm interested to hear The Carver's motivation for doing all of this.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 7:20 pm 
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Thank you both Sarah and Colleen! :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 9:58 pm 
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What a nasty piece of work that man was :no: But you do feel a bit sorry for him for what he went through. Doesn't excuse it, of course. Really loved Tony and Tim at the end :flirtysmile: Of course Tony will stay.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 11:14 am 
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It seems to fit well with his declaration that he felt Tim would stop him. Not a garden variety psychopath.

Awwwwww the McNozzo friendship throughout that last scene was palpable and palpably perfect :nice: of course Tony would feel guilty, and of course Tim doesn't think it was Tony's fault, and of course Tony would be amused that Tim had a hand in saving himself and of course Tony will stay :'( but in a good way. A touching end to a disturbing story :clap:

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 1:16 pm 
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This story had me on tenterhooks, Kelly. Kind of wished I started to read it while you were posting because that would've increased the suspense. Really creepy vibe. That whole scene with Tony getting separated from the others and the lights turning on, then exploding, and the daffodils painted in blood and gore... Whoa. Twisted!

Well done!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 9:30 pm 
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sondheimmcgeek wrote:
What a nasty piece of work that man was :no: But you do feel a bit sorry for him for what he went through. Doesn't excuse it, of course. Really loved Tony and Tim at the end :flirtysmile: Of course Tony will stay.
I do love McNozzo friendship. They are the cutest. :) I'm so glad you liked the story, and I appreciate you letting me know that you enjoyed it! :hug2col:

flootzavut wrote:
It seems to fit well with his declaration that he felt Tim would stop him. Not a garden variety psychopath.

Awwwwww the McNozzo friendship throughout that last scene was palpable and palpably perfect :nice: of course Tony would feel guilty, and of course Tim doesn't think it was Tony's fault, and of course Tony would be amused that Tim had a hand in saving himself and of course Tony will stay :'( but in a good way. A touching end to a disturbing story :clap:

Thanks Sarah!! I knew I wanted to write a Tony/Tim scene at the end, and I'm so glad that it hit all the right spots.

K9Lasko wrote:
This story had me on tenterhooks, Kelly. Kind of wished I started to read it while you were posting because that would've increased the suspense. Really creepy vibe. That whole scene with Tony getting separated from the others and the lights turning on, then exploding, and the daffodils painted in blood and gore... Whoa. Twisted!

Well done!

I am so glad to hear that it was creepy and suspenseful, since that was what I was going for! I have been too involved in it for too long so I just couldn't tell anymore. Thanks so much!!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 10:36 pm 
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Disturbing. Creepy. Suspenseful. You definitely succeeded in creating a horror story!!

(Just to reiterate my favorites of your comments so far.)


Great job with this. Sad story of what motivated The Carver to start his spree. :'( Still, what a creepshow!

I think it's funny that two pieces of news that would give Tim the most pleasure (the girl who got away and his program working) were delivered to him at a time when he was too tired to absorb what was being said. Maybe he'll have pleasant dreams because of it. :yes: :yes:

Anyhow, excellent story! You're amazing.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2015 12:43 pm 
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I think Barbs said it all.

Yes creepy, and very disturbing, and very good.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2015 12:58 pm 
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The daffodils were a poignantly creepy touch and having Tim try to figure out the man's psyche a la Ducky probably helped him keep his sanity.

A good story well-told. Couldn't stop reading because you just had to know what was going to happen next.

And...

:gibbssmack: to Tony. Next time someone tells you they're being watched, take them seriously!

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2015 1:04 pm 
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PhoenixRising wrote:
:gibbssmack: to Tony. Next time someone tells you they're being watched, take them seriously!

he should have taken Gibbs Rule #35: Always watch the watchers.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:45 am 
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I am losing my steam from today... work was crazy insane... I got halfway through chapter 1 before my brain officially shut down. I love it so far, Kelly! I can feel Tim's anxiety, and Tony's frustration. I can't wait to read on when my brain wakes up again! :offtobed:

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:34 am 
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I don’t think you should have any doubts about this being a horror story; it seems to me some of the things people do to their fellow human beings are much worse than have been perpetrated by any evil entity imagined by traditional ‘horror’ writers.

You’ve given us a terrific and terrifying story and I’m more than a little relieved I read it in one go so I didn’t have to wait too long to find out Tim was okay. Excellent back story for The Craver too, bravo!! :clap: :clap:

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 12:42 pm 
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fallenangel218 wrote:
I am losing my steam from today... work was crazy insane... I got halfway through chapter 1 before my brain officially shut down. I love it so far, Kelly! I can feel Tim's anxiety, and Tony's frustration. I can't wait to read on when my brain wakes up again! :offtobed:

I can't wait to hear what you think of the story. :)

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 12:47 pm 
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iheartGibbs wrote:
Disturbing. Creepy. Suspenseful. You definitely succeeded in creating a horror story!!

(Just to reiterate my favorites of your comments so far.)


Great job with this. Sad story of what motivated The Carver to start his spree. :'( Still, what a creepshow!

I think it's funny that two pieces of news that would give Tim the most pleasure (the girl who got away and his program working) were delivered to him at a time when he was too tired to absorb what was being said. Maybe he'll have pleasant dreams because of it. :yes: :yes:

Anyhow, excellent story! You're amazing.

I see Tim as the kind of guy who would want all the information he could get, even if he doesn't realize that he probably won't even remember receiving the information. lol.

akaeve wrote:
I think Barbs said it all.

Yes creepy, and very disturbing, and very good.

:hug2col: Thank you!

PhoenixRising wrote:
The daffodils were a poignantly creepy touch and having Tim try to figure out the man's psyche a la Ducky probably helped him keep his sanity.

A good story well-told. Couldn't stop reading because you just had to know what was going to happen next.

And...

:gibbssmack: to Tony. Next time someone tells you they're being watched, take them seriously!

I wanted to have a symbol of some sort for the killer, and I thought daffodils was a good choice - taking something sunny and cheerful and turning it into something... not. Thanks for your comments!

Fingersnaps wrote:
I don’t think you should have any doubts about this being a horror story; it seems to me some of the things people do to their fellow human beings are much worse than have been perpetrated by any evil entity imagined by traditional ‘horror’ writers.

You’ve given us a terrific and terrifying story and I’m more than a little relieved I read it in one go so I didn’t have to wait too long to find out Tim was okay. Excellent back story for The Craver too, bravo!! :clap: :clap:

Thank you so much, Mad! I avoid all things horror when it comes to movies and tv shows, so I wasn't sure how successful I'd be writing it. Everyone's comments have certainly boosted my confidence in that area, though. :) I'm really glad you enjoyed the story, even enough to read it in one go! :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 1:31 pm 
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I got through the whole thing... that was awesome, Kelly! It's just the kind of horror story I pictured. And I'm kind of glad Gibbs killed that psycho.

Thank you!! :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 3:11 pm 
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fallenangel218 wrote:
I got through the whole thing... that was awesome, Kelly! It's just the kind of horror story I pictured. And I'm kind of glad Gibbs killed that psycho.

Thank you!! :hug2col:

Thanks so much, Andrea. I'm so relieved to hear that you liked the story!

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 4:00 pm 
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It was definitely creepy. :th_uhoh2:

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 4:24 pm 
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That was creepy and intense. Putting all that stuff into two chapters is impressive. I think I would have taken at least 10. ;D Nicely done!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 10:53 pm 
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Enthusiastic Fish wrote:
That was creepy and intense. Putting all that stuff into two chapters is impressive. I think I would have taken at least 10. ;D Nicely done!
:hug2col: Thanks. They were rather long chapters... at least longer than I'm used to writing. I couldn't figure out another way to break it up, though.

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