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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 10:02 pm 
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Title: Mrs. Dr. Addy
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A lot of you have been my family since I found NCIS while pregnant with the boys. You've sorta watched them grow up; can you believe they are 8-years-old now? Most of you also know that Josh has been fighting Leukemia for four years.... It is a fight that he will lose soon. :'( I have been in Seattle with him for nearly three months and at this moment, I am literally watching him die. It is the most torturous thing ever. To make it worse, flights have been screwy all day and my boyfriend (who he calls Daddy) can't get here until tomorrow afternoon. I keep begging that he'll make it until Daddy gets here but it doesn't look good. He's gasping to breathe, his O2 sats are down to the mid 60s, and he's now on painkillers to keep him comfortable. :'(

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 10:07 pm 
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Oh my God, Laura, I'm so sorry. :hug2col: :( :'( I don't even know what to say. I mean, I've lost both my parents now, but a CHILD. I'm just sorry.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 11:50 pm 
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I'm so sorry, Laura. I'll keep you in my prayers, and I hope that your boyfriend can make it, if only to have the chance to be together.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:37 am 
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Oh Laura, I can only offer my thoughts of sympathies and my sincere apologies. I know there is not much I can do in words or otherwise, but my prayers and heart goes out to you. :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 1:03 am 
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I am so, so sorry :'(

Please remember, you have the love and support of everyone here.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 1:18 am 
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I wrote this at 9 o'clock central time and at 10pm, he was gone.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 3:51 am 
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:'( :hug2col: I am so sorry Laura, you have been through so much, but just remember the good times and the love you gave each other.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 7:56 am 
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I'm so, so sorry all of this happened to you and your family. That's something I can't even imagine having to handle.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 8:51 am 
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Oh hon. I'm so sorry. There are no words, but you're in my thoughts and prayers xx

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 10:12 am 
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I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family. These words seem so trivial.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 11:34 am 
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Saying sorry doesn't seem adequate. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 11:15 am 
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:bigcry: I wish there was a way to make the pain go away Laura, our thoughts and prayers are heading your way.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 1:40 pm 
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Oh Laura, I am so deeply saddened and sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved son. He was such a brave soldier and fought boldly

I couldn't start imagine the pain you are going through and am sending you my love and strength to get through.

Take care xx

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 11:11 pm 
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It's almost been two months. It seems like so much longer. I have his photo next to my computer and catch myself staring at it when I should be writing. I have to remind myself that he is finally cured and is no longer in pain. It was these reminders that probably got me through his funeral; I still tear up when I think about his best friend waving goodbye to his coffin. It hurt to hear his mother tell me that he didn't think he'd find another friend. I made sure to tell him that he's stuck with me. We actually went to his baseball game this past Sunday (after our weekly visit to Josh's grave) and his mother told me that he worried I'd be upset to be there cause Josh had passed away. That little 7-year-old boy is just so empathetic but still, he is stuck with me.

Ginny and Wyatt still say that they miss Josh. Wyatt said that he didn't want a bedroom to himself, he wanted Josh back. It's gotten slightly easier; we visit him after church every week and they can't wait for church to be over so we can go "see Josh."

I had thought the hardest thing I'd have to do is explain to Josh that he'd never have children of his own. It hadn't occurred to me until his final week that he would never come close to that conversation. Parents just aren't suppose to bury their children.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 11:21 pm 
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There is nothing I can say to make anything better so I am sending hugs through the ethers. Your posts made me tear up. I really can't even imagine what you've been through. Hugs.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 6:47 am 
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Think of you often

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:24 am 
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Oh, Laura. I don't even know what to say. I understand it feeling longer, though. It's been almost 3 months since my dad died and my mom's been gone for over 6 years already and there are times where you're like, that's it? I'm glad Ginny and Wyatt have each other and that you have them. It's not going to bring him back, but it's something. Love you, lady. :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:10 pm 
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Sweetie, I hadn't seen this. I am so sorry, hon. No words.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 10:39 am 
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:hug2col: I think it's wonderful that you're being there for his best friend. A child of that age should not lose their bestie, either :( Thinking of you xx

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 5:10 pm 
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I'm also thinking of you and yours. <3

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2017 3:09 pm 
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Hey guys, sorry I haven't been on lately. I've been having trouble getting back into writing since August. I attempted NaNo but didn't make it very far. Anyway, I'm trying to get back into writing and even got an odd plot bunny via dream a few nights ago.

It still seems like it's been much longer than five months. Which made me tear up again while reading your posts. Holidays were slightly difficult; my method of "not thinking about it" probably isn't the best but it's the only way I got through it. We also got to see Josh's cross all lit up. I'll post a photo in my pic thread. Because of the winter storm going through Bama this past weekend, we didn't get to go see him yesterday. Which means, I'll most likely want to stay longer next week (as James and I come back from a Bridal Show).

<3

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2017 5:21 pm 
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Hey, sometimes it's for the best not to think about it, otherwise you can't STOP thinking about it & that's not healthy, either. I do the same thing & fandom is a huge distraction for me, so I totally get it. It can help to talk to people sometimes, but other times it doesn't really seem to make a difference because nobody really understands how YOU are feeling, you know? I think it's fine that you're trying not to think about it, honestly. You can allow yourself to remember him, but you shouldn't feel like you have to dwell on it because that's way too draining. And if writing is too hard, sometimes just reading stuff is a good distraction. I like reading something that moves me emotionally because I feel like it helps me get those emotions out in a healthy way? If that makes sense. Because I'm a bit more in control of my emotions then. Of course, I'm the type who cries easily, anyway, so it might be easier for me to find something that makes me emotional, but you know. LOL And of course you don't have to listen to any of my suggestions, but just tossing it out there. :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:06 pm 
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Laura, I feel terrible. I completely missed all of this and am only now catching up on what you've been through. I am so sorry for your loss, and my prayers go out to you and your family. I can't imagine what you're going though, even now five months later. I wish you nothing but the best :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:40 pm 
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My heart breaks for you. I was late getting the news of Josh's passing. I had missed the post here and had somehow gotten disconnected from you on Facebook. When I realized, I sent another request and spent some time creeping on your timeline, catching up on everything.

There are no words. None I could say. None that would matter, even if I said the perfect thing.

I cried for you on Christmas Day. I cannot imagine.

I love you.

Thanks for giving us the update. If there's anything you need, let us know. Last year was the absolute worst. :-/

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:46 am 
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Laura take care of yourself, holidays and birthdays are the worst, but the pain will never go away and the wound may heal but the scars stay forever, try to remember that your other two need you too, don't block them out or forget them, let them grieve with you remember together, remember the good times.

:hug2col: :kisscheek:

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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 8:51 pm 
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I love you all

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 3:51 am 
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Lawral wrote:
I love you all

:kisscheek: :hug2col:

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 12:22 pm 
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:hug2col:

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 9:59 pm 
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:hug2col:

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PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 10:24 am 
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Thinking of you, hope you and the rest of the family are doing okay. :kisscheek: :hug2col:

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